How to Solve Your Common Worries
Four Common Worries: Follow these Tips to Combat Them
1. Checking….and checking….and checking
One day you notice an odd-shaped mole on your leg for the first time and you think to yourself “I should get that checked in case it’s cancerous” and you make a mental note to book an appointment with your doctor. That is a sensible reaction. But what if you check it again an hour later and then an hour after that and then an hour after that? Every time you check that mole your brain registers that nothing has changed and therefore it must be all the checking that is keeping potential cancer at bay. You need to retrain your brain by gradually cutting down your checking of anything – did you lock the door, did you switch the oven off, did you send that important email and so on. When you feel the urge yet again to check your “sent” folder, get up and do something else instead. At first, you may find it difficult but after a few days you will find you have less of a desire to “just make sure” so regularly. What will then happen in your brain is that the action of checking will no longer be connected to the positive result.
CONFIRM ONCE AND THEN MOVE ON………….
2. Putting things off
Guess what? Procrastination is just another form of worrying. When you procrastinate, you put off doing things you don’t feel totally comfortable doing or are anxious about, instead of getting on with them. For example, you have overspent on your debit card but you are scared to check your bank balance; you put off looking until the very last minute and then get charged because you have gone over your overdraft. No one can blame you for not wanting to face a big overdraft but ignoring important issues just makes your anxiety worse. You need to ask yourself what the cost and benefit will be of facing what you dread now. It may be that you get some bad news but at least you will know what you are dealing with sooner rather than later, when the situation may be harder to change.
Another way to avoid procrastination is to tackle the things you hate to do first thing in the morning, therefore, leaving an entire worry-free day ahead of you!
FACING YOUR FEARS HEAD-ON ALLOWS YOU TO STOP WORRYING…
3. Practice, practice and more practice
Being well prepared is a good way to gain confidence before entering into any stressful situation. However, there is such a thing as trying to be too perfect. For example, if you hate speaking in public you rehearse your speech for hours. The good news is that your speech goes really well but the bad news is that you feel mentally drained afterwards! The point I am making here is that you could have been just as prepared after 3 hours of practice instead of spending 10 hours practicing. With those extra 7 hours, you could have done something else which was a lot more relaxing.
To prevent yourself from overdoing it, set a limit from the beginning on how much time you are going to spend on a particular project. If you still feel the need to prepare more after your time limit, remind yourself of the work you have already done. Then, when you experience success without a huge investment of time you will begin to trust yourself and your strengths more.
LISTEN FOR, AND TRUST, THE INTERNAL CLUES THAT SAY YOU HAVE PREPARED ENOUGH…..
4. Think it over….and over…..and over….
Ruminating or mulling over a problem or decision over and over again is something that women, in particular, are very good at (sorry ladies!). When you ruminate about something it is because there is some reality you just can’t swallow. For example, you hit it off with someone you’ve recently met and arrange to meet again but they never ring. Why not? You sit there going through all these different scenarios as to why they never rang, searching for a clear answer.
People who regularly ruminate believe that if they keep thinking things through, it will all eventually make sense. The reality is some things never make sense!! It is important to recognize and remind yourself that there is a limit to what you are able to know and understand or control.
I very often meet people who say to me “I am a born worrier and will never change”. Believe me, if you genuinely want to stop spending your life worrying about everything, try out some of the advice in this article and you will see a difference!
Counselling Spain says: There are people in this world who want to spend their lives worrying about everything; that is their choice so you need to respect it and let them get on with it…. after all, WHY WORRY ABOUT IT?
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